A friend of mine recently said I was going through an AFGO, Another Fucking Growth Opportunity. Quite a novel way of describing my recent separation from my husband. What does this have to do with veganism and food? Nothing. Everything.
Not long before he left, he bought me a Vitamix for my birthday. I had been wanting one for over a year. For those who don't know, Vitamix is a crazy nuclear strength blender.
It turns cashews into cashew cheese, fruit, soymilk & ice into sherbet, and makes the best green smoothies on the planet. I incorporated this new kitchen tool into my daily regime and made some amazing meals for us.
Us. There's the rub.
The saying goes that a way to a man's heart is through his stomach. That was an easy area of expertise for me. Food has always been love, and I love my husband mucho.
As things deteriorated quickly, I cooked faster and faster. I whipped up desserts on a whim at 9PM; I made green smoothie after green smoothie, thinking that the healthful and very delicious benefits would heal his heart as it could heal the body. I thought that each meal we shared together would speak volumes of my love.
Maybe he thought that by buying me the blender, I could put aside the unresolved issues. Not any less rational than me thinking the blender could save our marriage.
He left almost a month ago and we haven't spoken; I've barely cooked a meal since then. I didn't touch the Vitamix until today. Cooking was always a team sport, with me throwing the pass, and him being the receiver. I didn't remember how to play Solitaire.
Today I made a green smoothie. It was a big step. It didn't taste as good as I remembered; I guess the missing ingredient was love. I'll have to remember to add that next time.